The five permanent members of the UN Security Council yesterday called on Iran to back up their claim that a suspected nuclear research site is nothing more than an animation studio by broadcasting a block of Adult Swim programming on the state-owned IRIB television network.
In a joint statement issued from a Brussels’ meeting of the International Atomic Energy Agency, France, Russian, China, Britain and the United States pressed the Islamic regime to start broadcasting selected Adult Swim programming as a condition for easing economic sanctions and restarting high-level IAEA talks that were halted over a year ago.
The five countries also called on Iran to agree to a series of animation “masterclasses” at the Hassan ben Sobar Academy just south of Teheran, as proof the sprawling, high-security bunker filled compound, which the Islamic regime claims is home to “the only Zionist-free animation and post-production studio in the world” is really being used to produce animation and not enriched uranium.
“We are extremely concerned by Iran’s continued failure to honor its obligations and act in accordance with the rules of the UN Security Council resolutions regarding nuclear weapons development,” the statement said. “If indeed Iran is creating cartoons and not nuclear triggers, then nothing would better demonstrate the regime’s dedication to halting nuclear proliferation as well as promoting the art and craft of animation than agreeing to broadcast the Adult Swim programming block on national TV. Surely the nation’s youth along with several thousand Western-educated mathematicians, physicists and structural engineers you’ve sworn are working not on uranium processing but on a stop-motion kid’s series “My Secret Life as an Evil Teenage Absolute Islamic Ruler” would applaud a weekly power block of Metalocalypse, Aqua Teen Hunger Force and Robot Chicken. Who wouldn’t?”
Western leaders claim Iran is working as quickly as possible to develop atomic weapons. Iran denies they are seeking nuclear weapons and insists facilities the West is pushing to inspect are merely part of a growing, state-of-the-art digital content creation hub of animation, vfx, stereoscopic 3-D and post-production facilities “dedicated to helping clients defeat the blasphemous hegemony of the Satanic American Empire through the creation of innovative and stunning visuals for feature films, episodic television, commercials, games and integrated digital transmedia properties.”
Many Western diplomats suspect Iran may be removing incriminating evidence from the Academy compound prior to allowing any foreign inspections, a charge the Islamic regime denies. In Geneva, IAEA director general Yukiya Amano told the Associated Press that he’s been waiting for almost 2 years to see a promised teaser reel or any production art from the animated series Iran claims they’ve been working on. “Either these guys are the world’s shittiest animators or I’m being punked. Enough is enough. Show us a promotional flipbook, a storyboard, a few rough scenes, some character model sheets, anything! Or, agree to let us send in Glen Keane, Henry Selick, Richard Williams and group of top animators to verify studio operations. Either way, Western patience is growing thin.”