28 Parents Fall Ill at Senior Animation Student Screening

Bob Lincoln January 22, 2014 16
Emergency personnel tend to parents who fell ill while watching their children’s senior animation short film projects at a school screening.

Emergency personnel tend to parents who fell ill while watching their children’s senior animation short film projects at a school screening.

28 parents fell violently ill Sunday during a senior animation student screening, all reportedly sickened after witnessing what $200,000 in tuition, materials and living expenses actually buys at many four-year animation programs today.

A Western Missouri Health Agency official disclosed that the outbreak at Ozark Mountain Digital Art and Design Academy Institute Center, a private art college on the outskirts of Joplin, Missouri, was caused by the audience’s exposure to a batch of extremely poor quality animated shorts, adding that although food poisoning has been ruled out the investigation was continuing.  A call to the CDC in Atlanta confirmed that the illnesses were “not pathogenic in nature, but more likely due to sudden, uncontrollable heartbreak and rage.”

Witnesses claimed several audience members started experiencing visible distress just minutes into the program and that by the end of the third short, a 12-minute scratch film about a coal-mining zombie ninja’s struggles with society’s indifference towards his narcolepsy, almost half the audience was doubled over in the aisles.

In all, 28 parents were stricken with a variety of flu and heart attack-like symptoms including shortness of breath, stomach cramps, vomiting, chest clutching and outbursts of intense profanity. Emergency workers at the scene had to restrain several stricken step-fathers who somehow managed to leap off gurneys and lunge at two senior school administrators.

Image credit: Special-fx | CC-BY-3.0

16 Comments »

  1. Distrakt January 23, 2014 at 3:32 pm - Reply

    WTH

  2. Bald Whizney January 25, 2014 at 9:36 pm - Reply

    I saw the title and thought it was the stench of all those stinky cartoons….kinda noxious, ya know?

  3. Valerie February 2, 2014 at 11:03 am - Reply

    Funny! And I can relate.

  4. Lee February 12, 2014 at 5:10 am - Reply

    Brilliant! Thank you and please write more :-)

  5. Random February 13, 2014 at 1:53 am - Reply

    bloody brilliant article.
    I’m surprised there were no reports of lecturers of said students being comatose thanks to all the wine they had they to drink to endure those films.

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